What I look for in a man...

Two years ago, I was with a guy that I thought I'll be spending my future with but I guess that was not God's will. Anyways, I decided that I have to set standards or non-negotiables for the next and last guy that I will love. Dating for the next two years was rough because I did not see all of the qualities that I was looking for in guys that I dated until now. I learned that if you pray hard and don't settle, the guy and the love that you deserve will come around. So, don't stop praying and believing, do not compromise. Let me share the list of non-negotiables that I wrote 2 years ago.

My 2015: a review

 I know ang awkward n ngayon ko lng ginagawa ang entry na 'to dahil matatapos na ang February 2016. I just want to share how the power of visualization, law of attraction, prayers and hardwork helped me attain most of my goals and ended up becoming a somewhat fulfilled human being.

Sa mga sinulat kong yan, 5 jan ang natupad. Nung 2014 kc, i felt that i was stuck in a rut and i knew i had to do something about it. So, sa bdj planner ko, i wrote what i really wanted to happen sa buhay ko. I wanted to improve my personal life, my fitness goals, my career and financial aspects. January pa lang talagang apply lang ako ng apply kapag my opening hanggang sa September ntupad ang prayers ko pero grabe, ilang rejection, sipag at luha tlaga bago ako naging coach. Dahil wala nman akong boyfriend, mas my time ako with my mom and sister. Don't get me wrong, natupad yung pinakauna sa list. January 1 pa lng, i've been dating this guy. He's a great guy in paper, he's perfect but i think God brought him into my life to answer that prayer, to date someone for that year. I learned things from him, i found a friend in him, i gained confidence and belief in myself dahil sa pangpupush niya saka sa mga payo niya. He made me happy.
Unfortunately, hindi ako naging 105 lbs but i lost 10lbs. I did not end 5km in 28 minutes but I still decided to run 10km this 2016. I know i will have the endurance to do it. Nung appraisal, di ko man naabot ang goal ko but since I eventually became a coach, higit pa yung naging increase ko. Because of that, nakapagTithes ako by December!
The things na wala talaga akong nagawa ay ang to spend my birthday with less fortunate, makaipon ng 24K, at ang maging clear ang aking skin. Tsk! Tsk!
I'll continue to work on my goals and new ones. I hope you enjoyed reading my wins and you get inspired to push yourself that you can get out of that rut. Go 2016!

10 things that I should have become or done before I get married

I have been telling myself, I am the worth the wait, I may not be the prettiest but I have a lot to offer for my future husband. Lately though, I am not feeling great about myself, about my life. I am my biggest critic and I know I am a work in progress but I just think that there are too much to work on. So, to calm me down, not to over think the future, just keeping my faith to God because God is so invested in my happiness he won’t let me down, I did a short soul-searching. Instead of me thinking what the root cause is why I am still single, instead of looking for my Mr. Right, I have decided to be Ms. Right and eventually, God will lead my Ian Veneracion-type of a husband (I really do not have a crush on Ian Veneracion but I had a dream that my husband who loves very much looks like him). So here we have the 10 things that I should become before I consider myself as Ms. Right.

11    I have to be happy. A relationship will not make a person happy. An unhappy single when in a relationship or get married will just be an unhappy person in a relationship / unhappy married person. Your partner should compliment you not complete you.

22     I have to be financially free. I want to give the best for my future kids and I am not really the type of woman who wants to depend 100% to her man especially financially and so I have to make sure that all my debts and what not are taken care of.

33     I have to be 105 lbs. That has always been the dream.

44     I have to have paid my dues and have done my part in volunteering or breaking my heart for the less fortunate. If anyone knows the story of Bo Sanchez, how he lived with old people for three years, I want to do something like that but not actually living my job. I just basically want to give something that I have, which is my money, my talent and my time. I am more of an action type of person. I just don’t want to give to church; I really want to do something about it.

55     I have to have a very good and close relationship to God. When you love someone or when you are in a relationship, God should be the center of it. I think that’s the secret of a happy marriage. I cannot inspire and disciple someone to be close to God if I am not.

66    I have to be healthy. There is only one me and I have to take care of myself. I need to ensure that I am healthy. If I am healthy, eventually, everything in the outside will fix itself.

77     I have to have taken care of my vices or at least control them. This is something that I have been focusing on lately. I really don’t want to talk about them right now but hopefully when the time comes to be with my Mr. Right, I do not have vices.

88     I have to be secured. I had issues in the past with my insecurity and I am proud that I have taken care of that after battling with self-esteem issues for most of my life but we’ll never know if it comes back and becomes an obstacle in my relationship.  

99    I have to learn how to love. I mean romantically, I seem to have approached life and relationship like a business transaction where in I should always get my ‘return of investment’. I don’t know how to explain it but I just hope I can love again the way that I loved before wherein I will just love and not wait for anything in return.

110 I have to start my wedding fund. Again, I do not want to be financially dependent on my husband so it’s best to be prepared. 

Do not Rush

As the preacher said in the Feast session that I attended, unless bombs are falling off from the sky, we should not rush into things. The talk series at that time is about relationships and getting married but I think this applies also in other aspects of life, like business, career, etc.

Why shouldn't we rush things? 

Well, I remembered an episode of The Mentalist, the locksmith died. His wife tells the story of how he first unlock a safe but she does not remember what was in it. It was the mystery that excited and motivated the locksmith to unlock the safe, what I am saying here is life is not just about the end goal or us reaching our dreams and ambitions but the journey towards it. So for this week, my dear readers, I just want you to remove the pressure, smell the flowers and enjoy the ride. Do not rush things, as I always say or type, God is so much invested in your happiness, He will not let you down, just trust in Him and in His perfect timing, things will happen to you. Your prayers will be answered. 

Enjoy the single life!

In the last couple of weeks, I have been very anxious because of the imminent changes in my life. I am turning 28 this September (I am not really one of those who worry too much when they get older, age is just a number), I am looking forward to some changes at work, new schedule, new team but it’s also bittersweet because I will be apart from people that I have spent years with. So, I think the anxiety has made me restless and I get to realize how single I have been. I am still far from my deadline to have a boyfriend but I don’t know, there’s this guy…. (haha, I really do not want to discuss him, how I feel for him, etc…), well, it’s not really about him why I think of this things, I guess the upcoming changes just made me think. Grabe, ang kalat ng isip ko in the last few weeks, ang dami kong inaalala na hindi naman dapat. Being the Catholic that I am, I prayed. I am one of those Catholics who strongly believe in saints’ intercession and over the past years, my favorite has been St. Jude but since I was so concern about my love life and my relationship, I ran to St. Anne, Mother Mary’s mum, she found Mary a man, she will find me to. Well, I was really just praying that the next guy that will be my boyfriend is my FOREVER, yeah, naniniwala ako sa FOREVER, no matter how many times kong ipagsigawan habang naulan na walang forever eh naniniwala ako dun. GOD is FOREVER, LOVE is GOD, therefore, LOVE is FOREVER, yan para sa mga Mathematician at Philo major, you have to agree to my logic, wala kayong choice.

So, there has been a couple of inspirations kung bakit bumalik na lang ako sa pag-eenjoy ng aking single life, I mean, it’s not that I did not enjoy it before or what but here’s the thing, totoo talagang nakakaattract ang mga babaeng confident at happy on their own kasi when I already come to terms na ok na ok ako sa pagiging single ko at wala akong dinedate saka naman naglilipana ang mga boys who want to date me. Boys talaga noh, ganda ko ‘teh. I think it’s really the personality that draws them in. Siguro dahil medyo busy sa work, I have no time to rest and for my extracurricular activities, I am starting to be miserable and overthink my life and I ended up feeling miserable. Anyway, I was reading this article sa Cosmo, I was so inspired by Laureen Uy dun sa article about her. Sabi kasi sa title, The Secret to Being Happy Laureen Uy, so syempre, babasahin ko ‘yan kasi nga malungkot na ako, lalo ko pa bang ilulugmok yung sarili ko sa negativity, siyempre, hahanap ako ng inspirational and motivational things around me. Haloooooo, mahirap na nga yung sitwasyon, demotivated na nga, lalo ko pa bang idedemotivate yung sarili ko? I love what she said about trying to love yourself when alone. It is a process, tama siya, ganyan peg ko last year eh, pero tanggap na tanggap ko na ang nangyari sa amin ng ex ko. You have to be happy on your own kasi you if you’re happy, you will attract the right one for you. Ganon talaga eh, hindi pa siya ang FOREVER ko. 

Isa pang nakainspire sa akin ay yung nabasa ko sa thepapist.org (here’s the exact post http://thepapist.org/st-anne-st-anne-send-me-a-man/), parang nagkaroon ako ng awakening sa faith ko kay God. Parang sinurrender ko na ang buhay ko at mga dreams ko kay God tapos alala pa ako ng alala para akong ewan. So, I stopped and pray again at nainspire ako sa naging message ng pari dun sa author ng post na enjoy lang ang single life kasi it’s your time to form yourself para ready na pag nagkafamily. You have to read the post. Now, hinihingi ko talaga yung intercession ni St. Joseph para maform na niya ang aking FOREVER at ni St. Anne para madiscern ko na ang aking relationships at future. To all single women out there, let’s not feel bad about the situation, it is never too late. It will never be too late, kung talagang raising a family or being a wife ang calling at dream natin, God will never fail us. He is just preparing the man that we deserve.  At sa mga mapang-asar na tropang guys, oo, minsan talaga nakakaapekto na yung pangungutya nyo na single yung mga dalaga niyong friends, instead of making them feel like it’s a big deal na wala silang relationship, why not be supportive sa mga endeavors nila. Treat them kindly and make them feel good about themselves and suppportahan niyo lang na tama ang choice nilang maging single. Yes, make them feel like being single is a choice and not because of missed oppurtunities or failed relationships or dahil may mali sa kanila. 

Let us just enjoy the moment, discover God's will and let's wait to be surprised.